living theology

do your body and mind belong to the same belief system?

When I asked if you believed in god, 
what I meant was:

Who does your mind run to when it races?

Who carries the weight of your unspoken questions? 
Or desires?

I wasn’t asking if you know any of the Bible,
I was asking if the Bible knows you.

The one on your nightstand,
Does it recognize the texture of your skin?

Does it have pages that have bent and stretched under your tears?

Has its spine cracked 
while it contorted to feed you?

I wasn’t asking for your stance on abortion,
Or caring for the poor,
Or if you think prayer works.

I was asking if your pockets know the emptying that comes with generosity,

If your face knows tears that were shed on someone else’s behalf.
The ones that get pulled down by gravity in single file
with no space or time to dry.

With all due respect,
I know you’re used to saying what you believe,

But what moves you?

What melodies cause you to sing before you are aware enough to stop yourself?
What music gets your feet tapping?

Where do you end up when you sleepwalk?

When your instincts take you,
before the rational mind gets involved.

What do you know of Peace?
Or Joy?

Is it just your mind that knows it?

Has Joy found its way to your smile before?
Does she ever make you dance?

Has Peace kissed your forehead?
Or showed up in your nervous system?

Sometimes I wonder if the actors are better off. 
At least they know the difference between reading lines and getting into character. 
They know the script doesn’t come alive when your mind knows what to say, 
but when your body wears the story, 
and the audience can smell it.

What character do you smell like?
What script do you bring to life?

When I asked if you believed in god, 
what I meant was:

What God do you know,
And how much of you knows him?

Have your beliefs remained thoughts?
Ideas that float in the air,
or have they clothed you?
Have they found a living home in your body?

Does your god live in your head,
or does he ever occupy your hands or feet?

Do your mind and body belong to the same church?

When I asked if you believed in god,
what I meant was:

What God do you know?
And how much of you knows him?

Alec Soth, Patrick, Palm Sunday, 2020. © Alec Soth / Huxley-Parlour